The Sports Bizzo

By Christian..

First and foremost, I’d like to thank Toph and Jon for inviting me to participate in the riveting, moving sports Mecca that is The Sports Bizzo. It is truly an honor to be a part of the site and movement that is sure to supplant ESPN at the top of the sports world in three months, tops.

Secondly, I’d like to briefly introduce myself. My name is Christian. There. Glad that’s over.

Now, let’s move on to more important things. Like, say, the Braves/Mets series. Being on the east coast visiting my parents has allowed me to catch a few of the Braves/Mets games on SNY. I would catch them in SF on a frequent basis if I could, but Ted Turner decided to ruin my life and sell the Braves and that means they’re no longer shown all over the country on the once-glorious, but now strictly Family-Matters-Rerun-based TBS. But, that’s a whole other bag of tricks that we’re not going to dip our magic fingers into.

Where were we? Braves/Mets? Right…

So, I was watching tonight’s game and couldn’t help but wonder why I have such a visceral and enduring hatred for the Mets. I mean, I really do hate them. When they get a base hit or a strikeout or do anything remotely successful, my fists clench, my eyes widen, and I start throwing things. Hell, I threw a gravy-boat at my mom tonight just because David Wright didn’t airmail a throw to first. It’s really that bad.

I’m not exactly sure where the hatred originated; only that the hatred has grown like it’s going through puberty over the last few years. It went from a cute little pre-pubescent hatred, sort of funny and quaint and adorable, to a pimple-faced, crackly-voiced, hormonally raging hatred, complete with hot flashes, turrets-like outbursts, and even a nasty habit of frequenting Mets blogs just to taunt the fans when their team is playing like crap.

My reasons for talking about the hatred are two-fold. First, I feel like you Bizzoers are going to be very compassionate with my plight and your support and readership and brilliance will get me through this trying time. Secondly, and more importantly, I want to see if any of you have similarly intense hatreds for any of your favorite team’s arch rivals.

I know Toph does. The Golden State Warriors are the Paris Hilton to Toph’s Nicole Richie. Or maybe vice-versa, since Toph is kind of flashy and rich and trendy like Paris is. And he didn’t recently give birth to a child with a member of Good Charlotte. Whatever. It’s not like Benji Madden didn’t try.

Anyway, point is that this kind of hatred can be immensely fun. It’s great to root for your favorite team, but it can be especially gratifying to root against your least favorite. This is particularly true if your team is in last place, but your enemies are on the brink of going to the playoffs and you know a loss will be just horrendously destructive and crushing for their fan base. It’s like winning the world series of loathing if your rooting against them causes them to be eliminated (and trust me, it’s not their poor play that caused them to lose- it was your negativity shooting through the television screen and permeating all of their souls).

Hatred for arch rivals can be even more wonderful than the joy your own favorite team brings you.

So tell me, Bizzoers, for whom does your hatred seethe? What team gets you out of your armchair and into the tv’s face? What team gets your heart racing unnecessarily and makes you want to punch out your young child when they ask innocently “Daddy, what’s wrong?”

I hope just thinking about it will set your blood boiling.

Good day.