The Sports Bizzo

By Brandon…

So as the second half of the boxing year begins, we now have a new welterweight champ who, in this Half-Mexican’s opinion, replaces the vacuum left by Floyd Mayweather Jr. The new champ Antonio Margarito may not have the flash or trash talk of the “retired” Mayweather, but Christ can he work. And I do mean work. Can you throw 1,675 punches in 36 minutes? In a fight in ‘06, Margarito broke the Compubox record of punches thrown in a twelve round fight with that number. I can barely type that many words in 36 minutes.

Two weeks ago, on July 26th, Antonio “Tijuana Tornado” Margarito (36-5) faced Miguel Cotto (32-0) for the WBA welterweight title. This could have been a two-belt unification fight, but Margarito was stripped of his IBF title because he wanted to fight Cotto instead of some mandatory chump. Before getting to the specifics of the fight, we must first talk about the Puerto Rico vs Mexico rivalry. I could probably bore you with all the fights of the last thirty years that involve Mexicans and Puerto Ricans, but instead I’ll tell you this golden rule: whenever you have a big country that’s badass, and a little shitty island, you end up with a rivalry. Examples: USA v England (another storied boxing rivalry and that revolution or whatever), USA v Cuba (bay of pigs, embargo, Castros), Mexico v Puerto Rico, China v Japan, Canada v Iceland - you get the idea. Margarito was a 2 to 1 underdog. I was saying for an entire week before the fight that if I were in Vegas I’d throw down $100 on Margarito. On the streets of the ATX, the best I could get was a $10 straight up bet.

This was a $50 pay-per-view event and yet HBO only gave it a thirty minute infomercial, as opposed to a few hour-long episodes of the “24/7″ treatment. Although we didn’t get a four-hour documentary, 30 minutes was all I needed to solidify my prediction of a win from Margarito. The half-hour “Countdown” showed a glimpse of both training camps. It was clear Margarito wanted it more. When Cotto was visiting with his family in the gym, Margarito was throwing punches. When Cotto was playing grab ass with his chums, Margarito was throwing punches. When Cotto talked about the tense relationship with his uncle/trainer, Margarito cried about his dead brother, and then threw more punches.

Since we’re talking about pay-per-views, I’ll take this time to air my complaint about HBO not showing the card girls in between rounds. If the NBA has their dancers, and NFL has the cheerleaders, why the hell can’t I see a glimpse of booby for fifty bucks?!? Really? Showtime doesn’t mind showing a card girl every once in a while for free - why can’t HBO PPV? Am I supposed to believe that I’m too classy for that sort of thing? Or is this family entertainment? I’ve seen so much blood during some of these events that I’m convinced kids might be better off watching Full Metal Jacket than watching old boxers well past their prime getting exploited, beat down, and ruined just to build up a prospect’s undefeated record… I digress. Boxing is for grown-ups. Ok, and for boys of all ages. Of course during the main event everyone wants to see what’s going on in the corners, but when I’m watching an undercard featuring fighters I’ve never heard of, show us those Vegas girls. Boxing fans deserve it. And most importantly, the younger impressionable males need to be reminded why girls are awesome, you know, in between rounds of what could be misinterpreted as homo-erotic entertainment.

The first round was typical as both fighters tested the waters. The real fiesta began during round 2. Both fighters really went for it. Margarito walks forward, continuously throwing punches as Cotto dances around with the ropes to his back. Cotto dodges blows with good defensive moves, and then comes back with power combinations. At one point, Margarito gets hit hard enough to make the crowd gasp, but after he gives Cotto a smile. At first I thought this was a taunt, but now I think Margarito figured out right then that he just took the best Cotto had, and it wasn’t hard enough. By the end of the round, Cotto was bleeding from the nose, and the crowd gave a standing ovation six minutes into the fight.

The next 3 rounds all went to Cotto, as he danced around the ring to dodge Margarito’s assaults. Each time Margarito stopped, Cotto planted his feet like a basketball player, crouched and ducked, and rose up to hit Rito with combos that snapped his head to and fro. That all changed with Round 6 and 7. Enter the Tijuana Tornado Left Triple Uppercut.

Ok, if you’re new to boxing, let’s explore this combo. The triple uppercut. If you happen to be playing Fight Night 7 with friends and you’re pitting Cassius Clay against Drago, the triple uppercut might work. Maybe. But if you’re in a gym and your trainer is telling you to work on your off-handed triple uppercut… get a new trainer cause this one wants to see you bleed.

But when you’re so damn good you throw 130 punches in a round, like ‘Rito did in round 7, the left triple uppercut is bound to occur as a result of the natural laws of the expanding universe. Rounds 8, 9, and 10 were competitive rounds, but just as Cotto was going to steal round 10, Margarito really hurt him, and at the bell Cotto was covered in blood. In the eleventh round Cotto’s uncle/trainer waived the towel after Cotto took a knee for the second time, too winded and bloody to continue. Uncle Cotto might as well have been waiving three Benjamin’s in my face. I miss you, Vegas…