By Jon…
I know we’re getting into the thick of football season and there’s absolutely no reason for me to even be thinking about basketball, but this is urgent. I know I said a few weeks ago that I wasn’t going to talk about the Mavs anymore for now, but again this is urgent. And I know I haven’t done a Mendoza Line segment in at least two months, but, if I’m correct, I think we might have our first two-time winner….
JOSH HOWARD…
A bit of advice, Josh…STOP DOING ANYTHING!!!
Stop driving. Stop smoking. Stop filming things. Stop talking, thinking, doing, smelling, touching. Just stop. Everything you do turns in to news, and not in the good way.
I don’t know what happened to you. For years, we’ve been defending what a smart pick you were, how we we’re lucky you slipped to us and not the Spurs. We even defended your Chris Webber-esque timeout in the Finals a couple of years ago. And this….this is how you repay us.
Just this summer alone, you’ve told the world that you smoke dope, then got caught drag racing your car, and now you’re on YouTube telling everyone you don’t celebrate the National Anthem because you’re black.
Really?
Fine. Say what you want to say. I don’t doubt you believe what you said, but why don’t you think about what you’re saying and who you’re saying it in front of before you open your mouth?
You hold a four-year degree from one of the finer and more exclusive universities in the country, and you did it on a full scholarship. You skipped out on an opportunity to play in the Olympics because you had a clinic you were running for kids to help keep them out of the exact situations you’ve put yourself in this summer, and on top of all of that, you’re getting paid close to $8 million a year to do so.
I’m not saying you don’t have the right to be frustrated with the current state of affairs in our country, because everyone is.
All I’m saying is think, for two seconds, about how great you have it. While you were out being recorded on your friend’s iPhone (Editor’s note - There’s no fucking video recorder on the iPhone. We’re still not sure why. It’s retarded.) saying you don’t celebrate the national anthem at a Charity flag football game, the rest of the country worked. Or didn’t work, because they don’t have jobs.
And if that’s too hard for you to think about, if that’s too far below you, why don’t you think about your former teammate, DJ Mbenga? He escaped a war torn country, he escaped from a prison he shouldn’t have been in the Congo, made it to America, and played in the NBA right alongside you for several years. He’s doing it for a fraction of the money, and I bet he’s loving every bit of it. He’s living the American Dream. He’s excited to even be able to make an attempt at the American Dream, because there is no Congoese dream.
Now, I’m no super-patriot or anything, but if you’re going to sit here and bitch about not celebrating the national Anthem, why don’t you man up and say it during one of your Vitamin Water ads?
There. I’m done. This month’s Mendoza line winner, Josh Howard, two-time winner, full time loser.
6 Comments, Comment or Ping
EMAN
Who cares. He can do whatever he wants.
Sep 24th, 2008
Jon
You’re right, Eman. Josh Howard can do whatever he wants. Except, you know, break the law and stuff. Which he did.
So apparently someone cared. That would be why I wrote the story.
See how that works.
You see, Toph and I started a website about sports, so that we could write our opinions about sports.
You can do whatever you want, too. And you chose to read this article.
That makes two people that cared.
Toph’s always got my back. So that’s three. Should I keep going?
Sep 24th, 2008
Toph
bitter… party of 2… your table is now available.
Sep 24th, 2008
EMAN
Will we be having dinner at Magnolia’s? Let me clarify my “odd” comment. Great post, but what I meant was J-HO can do what he wants off the court, as long as he produces on it. Even before the weed incident, drag racing, and now the flag incident, the guy did not produce on the court last year. For me that is a bigger concern than if he is a role model of the court. God Bless America and God Bless you Jon.
Sep 24th, 2008
God
No, Jon’s right. Josh Howard’s a moron.
And yes, I blessed Jon. In many, many ways.
Sep 25th, 2008
Jon
actually, yes, we will be having dinner at Magnolia.
and i dont care if you smoke a joint, drag race your car, and talk about how you don’t love America on your way up there….
so long as you produce at the breakfast table, man.
because that’s what really matters.
Sep 25th, 2008
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