The Sports Bizzo

By Brandon…

So it’s that time of year again folks. People are talking more about their city’s QB than who will be President.  Girlfriends start shopping as men congregate on Sundays for sacred rituals.  Men start reading again.  Melodramatic Mystic Metaphors are all over the skies just waiting to be plucked down into a bad sports article.  This can only mean one thing: Gambling Season.

Each week, loan sharks and bookies are hoping you don’t take the Ramblin’ Gambler’s advice, which is sure to make you rich.   As you can see from my notes, there is no betting on guts here, just pure statistical knowledge.  Won’t your friends be envious of your Maserati?

Buffalo (+6) at Jacksonville  - With Brady out, the AFC East, even down to the Dolphins, will be trying to win games to take the division, something that hasn’t happened in a decade or something.  Jacksonville’s offensive line will be watching Garrard sacks from the sidelines.  Maybe the Jags pull a win out of their ass, or an offense out of their ass, for the home crowd, but field goals will win the game, not touchdowns.

New England at New York Jets (-2) – You know Brett Favre isn’t gonna lose to no I’ve-always-been-a-backup-and-was-even-a-tight-end Cassel.  After he wins he can say, look at me Green Bay – I beat the 19-1 Pats.  Hurricane Ike is bringing 3 things to America this weekend- wind, rain, and more tears for Belichick as he passes the torch to his protégé Mangini.

Boxing – Nate Campbell v Joan Guzman for 3 lightweight belts.

Using the nicknames, this fight is actually The Galaxxy Warrior vs The Sycuan Warrior. I’d take a warrior of the whole galaxy, even if galaxy is spelled wrong, over a warrior from some obscure Native American tribe any day of the week.

I pick Nate Campbell, the 1.75 to 1 underdog, to take this fight. ($100 wagered=$275 payout) He just came off a good win against Juan Diaz, and Joan Guzman hasn’t knocked anyone out since 2004.  The Sycuan Warrior is undefeated and does have quality wins since ‘04 against decent opponents, but come on, his name is Joan.  Maybe that means something different in Spanish or Sycuan or whatevs, but in Biloxi, Mississippi, he will be Joan, an old lady.

Campbell will have the crowd, the reach advantage, and the desire to keep his three belts, in hopes of giving them all to Pacquiao next year. These two thirty-somethings will have a nice sparring match, and afterward the judges will commit some kind of robbery, or maybe Campbell will really outpoint that old broad. Either way, Campbell will bring glory back to the Galaxxy.