The Sports Bizzo

In case you haven’t been keeping track, R.G. is 1-1-1 this year for picks.  The push occurred because Joan “The Sycuan Warrior” Guzman was who I thought he was.  No, he didn’t lose to Nate Campbell as I predicted.  Even worse, the punk ass chump Joan (pronounced like you’re talking to the hottie on MadMen) weighed in three pounds too heavy, and then turned down Campbell’s offer to fight anyway.  I would say maybe they should reschedule, but I think it’s a sure lock that Joan will never fight on TV again.

If you’re under the age of 8 or over the age of 33, maybe you’ve never heard of the rags to riches Everyman You-Tube sensation Kimbo Slice.  For those of us that are young, hip, and awesome, Kimbo will make his 2nd appearance on national television this Saturday on CBS.  Not only is The Slice looking to silence MMA critics that say he is just a brawler fighting nobodies, but also, if ratings aren’t good, Kimbo might find himself without a promotion company.  Being a boxing fan that will only pay for one PPV a month, let’s hope Kimbo can save free-to-watch-on-CBS-or-Shotime EliteXC.

The Locks:

EliteXC - Kevin ‘Kimbo Slice’ Fergusson VS Ken Shamrock
I don’t know anything about Ken Shamrock, but luckily I don’t have to.  Kimbo will make him bleed.  Kimbo -325

EliteXC - Gina Carano VS Kelly Kobald
A few things to say about this lady fight:
1. It will be better than the main event.
2. The Bizzo needs to salute Gina Carano.  Not only is she hotter than previous ladies saluted, she can open up a can of whoop-ass if you don’t salute her.
3.  This is supposed to be a record-building tune-up fight for Carano.  As many of you fight fans know, when a champion fighter is focused on the fight after the next fight, it can turn out badly.  In this case, EliteXC is trying to build hype for a Carano vs Cris Cyborg fight.  Rather than blow their wad too early this Saturday, they are feeding Carano a present from the frigid north.  Never mind that EliteXC could be bankrupt before the Cyborg fight can happen.  This leads me to –
4.  Picking Kelly Kobald, 4.25 to 1 underdog, to take this fight.  Carano is undefeated, but has no business taking a tune-up fight, as she is not champion of anything.  Although Carano was a kickboxer and had over a dozen fights in that sport, her 6-0 MMA record is three times less experience than Kelly has in the cage.  Kelly has lost her last two fights, but before that – won 16.  Sure, Carano knows what it’s like to fight on the national stage, but does she know how to fight after her opponent has uglied her face? Yes, Kelly is a nobody from Minnesota and most of her wins were gained in regional matches.  But just look at future President Palin (I just vomited) – anyway point is - a little grit, training, and cold-weather psychosis can go a long way in making a girl a national star.  It’s a long shot, but hey, just hedge this bet by putting $20 on Kelly and $100 on Kimbo.

HBO Boxing – Alfredo “El Perro” Angulo VS Andrey Tsurkan
The last time El Perro fought, Kimbo Slice was in his entourage.  Both will clean up Saturday night.  Under 8.5 rounds  -175