The Sports Bizzo

By Christian…

The Dodgers have a tough task ahead of them in the League Championship Series.  They have to beat the odd mixture of sexy youth and perplexing age that is the Philadelphia Phillies.

Since I’m a Braves fan, I of course want a team from the NL East to win because it makes my team look better (except for the Mets, of course…those bastards ought to be painfully turned into quadriplegics for all I care).  I’m also, as has been discussed, an enormous frontrunner in every other sport and even, sometimes, in baseball after the Braves have been eliminated.

So, naturally, I love the Phillies.  And if they lose?  I’ll like the Dodgers.  See how that works?

Anyway, the Phillies are eminently likable.  Why?  Because they’re such a weird conglomeration of guys.

Over the course of the last two years, their “ace” (Brett Myers) has done a stint in the minor leagues and spent time as the frontline starter, closer, and at middle reliever.  And now he’s back to being pretty nasty again.  They have a 45 year old number three pitcher who looks like he just got beaned by father time, who was mysteriously taken out after like eighteen pitches against the Brewers, and who actually is also pretty damn good for having a fastball that tops out at 81 mph.  They have a guy the Twins DFA’d who has been lights out since coming over (J.C. Romero).  Their catchers are no-names.  They actually found a spot on their roster for Matt Stairs.  They have the handsomest second baseman in the game (what?  I’m gay for Chase Utley…keep acting like you’re not and lying to yourself).  And they have a center fielder whose nickname is “The Flyin’ Hawaiian.”

What’s not to like?

The other thing they have going for them is that they’re good.  Nobody wants to face a top of the lineup that goes Rollins, Victorino, Utley, Howard, and Burrell (yes, I said it, Burrell…he’s finally been solid for a full year).  I’ll agree that their middle relief sucks so hard they could get a golfball through a garden hose.  But their closer is lights out, the “Bridge to Lidge” that is their setup man (Ryan Madson) is pretty solid, and their starting rotation can win series for them.

If I were a Dodger fan, I’d be concerned.  Although, I’d also be buying Manny Ramirez jerseys in every single color, along with those inane do-rags with the dreds built in, and I’d think I was hot shit.  In fact, if the Dodgers win?  This is exactly what I’ll be doing.

But, I will go ahead and predict the Phils pull this baby out and go on to get slaughtered in the Series by either the Sawx or the upstart Rays.

Phils in six, Sawx in six, Sawx win the series in five.

Bet on it (and then give me twenty percent of the winnings).