The Sports Bizzo

By Christian…

Alright, Bizzoers, what the hell’s going on here?  Deuce McAllister, Charles Grant, and Will Smith, along with a few other players, have all tested positive for the diuretic Bumetanide, which belongs to a subset of medicines known as water pills. (Official Story)

That’s rough.  That’s a lot of people.  And apparently it can result in up to a four game suspension, which would be particularly awesome for the Saints because that’s like half the good players on their defense.  And Deuce was going to be their guy while Reggie Bush sits out his annual four games.

What I want to know, though, is what the hell’s up with Santonio Holmes?

Why do I want to know that?  Because the guy was pulled over by the cops (here), who were apparently looking for a car that matched the description of the one he was driving, and supposedly had a crapload of drugs in it.  They also happened to smell weed coming out of Santonio’s car.

Now that’s not the weird part.  The weird part is: why the hell hasn’t Holmes failed a drug test?

Anyone?

Doesn’t it seem like a lot of guys in sports get caught with drugs but never test positive for them?  How is that possible?

I only ask because Deuce and his boys allegedly tested positive for a supplement that’s usually used for weight loss.  And all the guys that tested positive were big dudes.  Sure, the supplement’s still illegal.  But if they were genuinely doing it just to lose weight?  Meh.  Doesn’t seem like too big a deal to me.

Now, if they were doing it to mask steroid use as some are suggesting?  That’s a whole other deal.  And that leads us to Holmes.  If these guys are masking steroid use, wouldn’t it be a logical guess that a guy like Santonio Holmes is probably using something to mask his own drug use?  Since he admitted to the cops he was getting high and showed them the blunt? And especially if they supposedly test these athletes all the time?

It just doesn’t make any sense.  Why wouldn’t the NFL test Holmes immediately to confirm if the charges and admission are true?  And why wouldn’t he test positive for either wacky tobacky or some masking agent?

It makes one wonder about the NFL’s diligence.  How can Holmes admit to officials he smokes dope, have charges pending against him for it, but he doesn’t get tested or penalized for it by the NFL?

Please direct any legal concerns about these charges to our editor, Toph.  He made me write this.

(Editor’s Note: Please see Jon for legal action.)