The Sports Bizzo

By Jon…

I’m having a hard time coming up with any one thing to write about this time around. Nothing’s really jumped out at me in the headlines over the last week. Maybe it’s because the Cowboys had a bye week. Maybe it’s that they’ve been so god awful the last few weeks that I’ve shut my brain off. Maybe it’s because the Mavs can’t win a home game. I don’t know. It could be any of those things, or all of them at once. Either way, I’m using it as an excuse to come up with a new, weekly segment where I just type out some general musings about the Sports World at large.

Here goes:

* I get a big kick out of saying things like, “the sports world at large”. Mainly the “at large” part. Call me a weirdo, I don’t care.

*There’ve been a lot of suspect coaching decisions in the NFL the last few weeks. Kansas City coach Herm Edwards topped the list with his botched two-point conversion play for the win. Obviously, it went horribly awry. His team has no confidence whatsoever, in him, in the team, anything. I realize sometimes you have to go for it, because if you win, you get the emotional victory that, even though the season’s shot, gives the guys something to build on. But, by going for it and losing, he deprived his guys of a fair shot in overtime.

*Shaq got it right. He’s changed his nickname throughout his career to keep up with the times and circumstances. Allen Iverson might do well to try and shed his old moniker as well. Granted, Iverson was given the nickname, “The Answer”, but still, he should really dump the nickname. What is he the answer to at this point? Because the test is starting to look more like a multiple choice exam than an essay. He built a strong body of work in Philly, carrying the team to the brink of a title. I’d hate to see the guy turn into a man valued more for his expiring contract than his ability. If things don’t work out in Detroit and he goes to another team next year, he might consider the nickname, “The Experiment”.

*Thursday night football is a cruel bitch. I got absolutely annihilated in my fantasy game this week, due in part to the NFL Network (which I don’t get at my place) airing Thursday night games. I had no idea. I probably should have checked into it sooner, but I normally don’t set my lineups until Saturday after all the injury reports have been finalized. Making matters worse, I started Derek Anderson. THE BROWNS DIDN’T EVEN START DEREK ANDERSON. I was down 34-0 before the first kickoff on Sunday.

*Worse still, I have three quarterbacks on my roster. All of them began the season as starters. Now all three of them have been benched. Seriously. I don’t have a quarterback this week. Holy Shit…I don’t have a quarterback this week. I gotta get on the horn and make something happen here.

* Fortunately, Kerry Collins was available on the waiver wire. Wow, count that as something I didn’t think I’d ever say.

*With the 24 hour news cycle constantly inundating us with new and, often times, pointless stories, the good ones get lost way too quickly. Like the Phillies winning the World Series. I’m no Phillies fan, but I thought it was cool they won. It happened two weeks ago, and already it feels like it doesn’t matter. Maybe it’s because I don’t live in Philly. I’m sure it’s all over the place there. But it still feels like with so much news all the time, we don’t get the chance to savor any one story for more than a day or two before it’s forgotten.

*And last, but not least, Toph had the idea that Halloween shouldn’t be the only holiday that gets girls out in skanky clothes. We think it should be every holiday, big or small, so we’ve come up with an initiative that I think we can all get behind.  The Biz presents, “Skank the Nation”. The plan is to throw massive parties for every holiday with a skanky dress code. This way, Thanksgiving becomes “Skanksgiving”, and the turkey isn’t the only one that gets to show everyone its gobbler. So send your thoughts and ideas to us on other clever holiday names, and help the Bizzo, “SKANK the NATION”.

Yes we can!