The Sports Bizzo

By Toph…

(Editor’s note: Of course, 2 days later all Dallas teams win… hummm…)

I’ve been asking this quietly (and on Twitter) for some time now, so I’ll finally bring it up in an article. The question: Can you remember a time when so many Dallas teams were so bad? I mean, right now, every team is bad. All of them. The Rangers were awful (despite having an amazing offense… again), the Stars are at the bottom of the Pacific with a record of 5-7-3 (this was a team that was a series away from the Cup last year), the Mavs are at the bottom of the Southwest and are tied with the Spurs at 2-7, and lastly, the Cowboys are at on the brink of being the worst in the East after being the proclaimed this year’s preseason Super Bowl winners (granted they’re tied with the Eagles at 5-4 and are getting back to healthy, but still).

I gotta be honest, I’m fuckin’ beside myself right now. I’m trying to pinpoint exactly when the problems started for my hometown, and I think it all points to the Mavs meltdown in the Finals against the Heat. Everything in Dallas was on the up and up at that point, and then came the 2006 NBA Finals. The Mavs were well on their way to winning an NBA Championship. They won the first two games, then, the whole city of Dallas came apart. The Mavs lost, and the rest of the city would become eventual losers. Maybe it was the fact that my unofficial mom, Mayor Laura Miller of Dallas, started planning the parade route. Maybe it was all the poor decisions that followed that lead to this sudden win drought. Of course, since then, a dramatic, record-breaking first round exit against the Warriors, a Jason Kidd trade, another first round exit and, of course, this year’s record which has been mentioned. Not so good for the Mavs, is it?

2006 wasn’t just the year the Mavs decided to collapse in the Finals. It was also the year we were introduced to Tony Romo. OK, so we weren’t introduced to him as a person, no, we knew we wanted Romo for quite sometime, but it was the year he became our starter. When you have a quarterback like Romo, you tend to forget all bad things quickly, but you shouldn’t. You should remember that he came up short against the Seahawks. He couldn’t get it done against the Giants, either. And now, this year due to the injury, and despite what Jerry Jones says, the Cowboys could be missing the playoffs. None of this needs to be overlooked, because all of it results in the same thing - not winning.

No, it doesn’t stop there, does it? The Dallas Stars entered the playoffs in 2006 as a 6 seed, but looking very promising. Adding Eric Lindros to the team (remember that?), the Stars made it to the playoffs, again, only to be knocked out by the Canucks. The next year, you started believing that this team would be different. You actually believed they could get to the Stanly Cup Finals. The only problem was that the Red Wings were a far superior team. This year? Well, bottom of the division, and they’re looking really, really old. Are we starting to see a trend here?

If there is a trend, which was “old” by the way, then the Rangers are the exact opposite. This young, upstart team has a problem… you guessed it… on the mound. Well, get right out of town, the Rangers have pitching problems. An amazing offense, that just can’t get it done, because of the lack of pitching. Of course, this year CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Derek Lowe are available free agents, but I’m almost willing to put money on the Rangers not signing anyone. All of this with Nolan Ryan in the front office. It’s sad, because the Rangers offense is that good, as is the story of some of the players. Although, if I hear another story about Josh Hamilton I’ll… I’ll… well, I’ll probably sob like a little girl again. Still, it’s looking like more of the same next year for the Rangers, which I don’t think my Dad can handle. Seriously, all this losing will put him in an early grave, and I don’t want to see that.

Again, can you tell me another stretch when all Dallas teams have been this bad at the same time? Sure, you had the Mavs in the 80’s and early 90’s, the Cowboys in the late 90’s and early 00’s, the Stars after ‘99 and the Rangers… always, but never all at one time, right? Was I just too young to realize when it was happening? You tell me, cause I can’t seem to sort it out.

But, I will say this - Fear not Dallasites. I’m now in San Francisco. Look at this: The Raiders and Niners are scraping the bottom of the barrel and have both fired their coaches, the Warriors traded away their best player in Baron Davis and their future is hurt from a moped accident, the Giants and A’s suck and the Sharks… well… the Sharks are amazing. But, come on, they have 6 damn teams to choose from. That’s not fair at all, is it?