The Sports Bizzo

By Jon…

Weekly Grumblings, my ass. I’m sure that’s what y’all are thinking. Well, I’ve needed to build up some things to grumble about. So here we go, a marathon version of the grumblings….

1. If I see one more box score or headline that says Devin Harris has set another career high in points, I’m gonna kill someone. Harris scored 47 points the other day, FORTY SEVEN POINTS!!! That’s ridiculous. Why did the Mavs trade him again? Oh right, for that old man whose name suggests otherwise (Kidd). I sincerely hope Mark Cuban has big plans for all the cap money that comes when Kidd’s contract expires.

The Kidd trade was a total debacle. It wreaks of a bad relationship gone worse. You ever had a situation in your life where you dumped or got dumped by somebody and then you found someone newer, younger, and hotter, and then the old Harpy comes back and says that she wants you back, and since you never really got over her, and you don’t know where this new relationship is going, and things are comfortable with the old one, you get back with her? Only to watch the younger, hotter one hook up with some spare of a dude, but she bangs him FORTY SEVEN times more than you because he let go of the reigns and said go for it? Ever had that happen?

Me either, but it happened to the Mavs.

2. The BCS system is flawed. I know I’m going out on a limb when I say that. In fact, as far as I know, I may be the only one saying it. But the system is flawed. Furthermore, the Big 12 system is flawed even more. How hard is it to get your tiebreaker scenarios right? If three teams are tied, standard circle-jerk rules apply. Last one to finish is the biscuit. In this case, there were two biscuits. Texas Tech is the official biscuit, because they lost last. But Texas is the one eating the biscuit. A big, nasty BCS covered biscuit because they lost to Okla…no, wait a second, they didn’t lose to Oklahoma. They beat Oklahoma in Aust….er..Norm….wait, no Dallas. A neutral site, one might call it, where neither team has a distinct home field advantage because the crowd is divided equally amongst both teams.

Oklahoma is, for all intents and purposes, being rewarded for blowing their collective wad too early. Where else in life is that rewarded? NOWHERE! So why should it work in college football?

All I’m saying is, if Oklahoma somehow loses against Mizzou, you bet your biscuits, Texas should be in the BCS championship game, conference title be damned. Oklahoma shouldn’t get another free pass like they did a few years ago when they lost in the Big 12 title game, only to be gifted a slot in the national championship game, only to get completely annihilated by USC.

3. Plaxico Burress, your life has finally become as silly as your name. If you didn’t want to play because you felt like being a crybaby, you could’ve just faked the hamstring injury you were already out for. You didn’t have to go and put a goddamn bullethole in it. We believed you when you said your hammy was hurting, no need to get crazy. No need to drag your teammates into it.

Here’s what gets me, Plax…is it okay if I call you, Plax? If the reason for carrying the gun is to protect oneself, wouldn’t it behoove said gun carrier to take a lesson in gun safety, or hell some sort of gun training course?

I mean, surely, you’ve heard the statistics that you’re more likely to harm someone you know than a stranger. I don’t know if they send you a letter in the mail when you actually become part of that statistic, but you should be expecting yours later this week. Actually, you know, I bet they email it.  You’ll probably get an email.

I just don’t get it, dude. Why do you need a gun anyway? Does it give you a boner to think of the power you hold by carrying a gun? You caught the game-winning touchdown against an undefeated team in the Super Bowl, for Christ’s sake. How much bigger of a boner do you need?

4. Hands down the best thing to come of the Plaxico accidental shooting was this – Marcellus Wiley on OTL
Outside the Lines interview with former Bills defensive end Marcellus Wiley. In the span of a three minute interview, Wiley manages to incriminate himself on at least two different crimes. First, he mentions the kind of weapon he carried and the type of holster. Secondly, he admits to it being unregistered, and on top of that admits to disposing of it by throwing it out of his car window while driving down the highway. Priceless….