The Sports Bizzo

By Jon…

I’ve spent the last few days wondering why Sports doesn’t quite get me fired up like it used to. For awhile, I thought it was a phase. When it continued, I thought it was because I was getting older and my priorities shifted or something dumb like that. When it still persisted, I figured I was a lost cause, and I couldn’t find joy in anything anymore.

That was until I turned on the local news.

The entire Sports portion of the news was devoted to the Spurs and UT spring practice. Really? Already?

I know it sounds crazy, what with the interwebs and cable television and all, but I think my interest has waned because I despise the only professional team within 150 miles of Austin. (That would be the Spurs for the geographically impaired readers)

Then I got to asking myself, why doesn’t Austin have a professional Sports team?

So here’s my case for a pro team moving to Austin:

First and foremost, Austin is a rapidly growing city and metro area. The surrounding suburbs are growing like wildfire, as evidenced by the growing traffic problems all over the city. It also has the healthiest job market in the country, according to some Forbes.com top ten list I read online a few weeks ago. The unemployment rate is one of the lowest in the country even in the tough economic climate.

Second, its home to one of the largest universities in the country with top tier teams in almost every major sport. The locals love and adore the Longhorns, so you know there would be a healthy interest in whatever team came to town.

Third, there’s tons to do in Austin. This would help draw young, big name players who are looking for a cool place to live and work. It’s also a safe, family friendly town, which might also help draw top-tier talent or wily vets with families to think about. The public schools are solid and there are plenty of high-end private schools.

Top that off with the fact that the ESPN guys love coming here. Kirk Herbstreit lists Austin as one of his favorite towns to visit with the Gameday crew. And Bill Simmons lists Bergstrom Airport as one of the most efficient airports in the country.

Now I bet you’re thinking, “Ok, Jon, those are all sound reasons to bring a team to Austin, but what about the logistics and feasibility of your plan?” Well, I’m glad you asked.

First, we should narrow it down to which Sport could actually succeed in Austin:

Football- No go. Texas is a Dallas Cowboy state, and Austin is a Longhorn town. The feasibility of putting another football stadium in Austin would be almost out of the question. Football teams jump town much more infrequently than other professional leagues, and as far I know, there aren’t any teams floundering so badly that they would be skipping town any time soon. Frankly, there’s not enough love in this town for two football teams, and the new team would suffer immensely against the draw of the Longhorns. So football’s out of the question.

Hockey- Do I even need to give a reason for this one? Hockey’s having enough trouble keeping the teams they’ve got. They overexpanded into the South about a 20 years ago. There’s just not enough interest. People love nice weather too much here to go sit in a cold ass arena in the middle of April.

Baseball- Again, baseball doesn’t move teams very often. The suburb of Round Rock already has a minor league team (More on them later). The pro teams in the state are perrenial losers, and baseball isn’t expanding any time soon. Plus, MLB is going to a hit major wall in the next few years, with the scandals, outrageous contracts, and floundering economy. Mark my words.

Which brings me to my frontrunner…

Basketball.

Putting an NBA team in Austin has some very strong pros and a couple of very strong cons.

I’ll start with the pros:

1. A short-term arena wouldn’t be an issue, the new team could use either the UT arena (though it might create some scheduling conflicts in the latter half of the NBA season) or the convention center in the short-term, while a long term arena deal was hammered out by the team owner and the city.

2. Believe it or not, Austin is actually larger, population-wise, than 18 of the NBA’s current markets (population numbers are of cities Proper, i.e Boston proper, not the metro population). Seriously, Austin is bigger than Memphis, Charlotte, Boston, Milwaukee, Seattle (R.I.P. Sonics), Denver, D.C, Portland, Oklahoma City, Atlanta, Sacramento, Cleveland, Miami, Oakland, Minneapolis/St. Paul, New Orleans, Orlando, and Salt Lake City.

3. Of all the major sports, the NBA is the only league with a team, the Memphis Grizzlies, floundering bad enough to necessitate a move. The Grizz have never been very good, in Vancouver or Memphis, why not suck in Austin? At least people would come see them. They’ve been to the playoffs three times, and swept in the first round three times. They traded their franchise player, Pau Gasol, for pennies on the dollar, and are looking to cut even more money as the economy continues to tank. Now, the Grizzlies aren’t actually for sale or looking to move at the moment, but it’s on the horizon, I can feel it. Plus, the Grizz are already in the Southwest division, so the League wouldn’t have to worry about realignment

4. Austin loves a hometown hero. VInce Young’s been sitting on the bench for the last year, and still you can catch more Titans games than Texans games on a Sunday afternoon. Two recent UT alum, Kevin Durant and D.J. Augustin, are playing for crappy, small market teams already, and both would be available for free agency in a couple of years. I’m just sayin’.

5. Dell Computers is an Austin-based company that I’m sure would be in the running for the naming rights to the new arena. The fans could nickname it, “The Dell”. Hell, they could name the new team “The Farmers.” And visiting teams would have to deal with “The Farmers in the Dell”. Tell me that wouldn’t be hilarious and catchy. Everytime the Farmers one, Dell could hand out promotional laptops. Okay, so that’s a little absurd, but it leads into my next point.

6. Austin prides itself on homegrown businesses and eateries. A new arena would allow some locally famous restaurants to expand their brand. They could sell Home Slice pizza in the concession stands, put some Fireman’s 4 on tap, and hand out coupons for free Torchie’s Tacos if the Farmers score 100 points in a win. That also, sadly, leads into one of my two major cons…

Cons

1. Austin is already witnessing a lot of backlash from the rash of high-rise condominiums being built downtown. Frankly, I don’t know who the hell’s moving into them. Seems like they should fill one of them before they start building 5 more. The locals are flipping out because they believe Austin’s starting to lose that home-y feel that’s been so integral to its image for so long. The idea of a large arena going up anywhere near downtown might result in a full-scale riot. Parking’s already miserable downtown. And the local businesses might balk at the idea of going too corporate by placing one of their restaurants in a big, corporate arena.

2. Can you imagine trying to go to a Farmers game during the week of SXSW? The airport would burst at the seams. Traffic would be a nightmare. Parking would again be dreadful. I don’t even want to imagine what Sixth Street would look like. They’d need to go one of those Circus Road Trips like the Spurs do every year.

3. The NBA league office would most likely be the biggest problem with getting a team here. David Stern is very careful about what happens in his league, and ultimately the decision would come down to him. I could see his concern in putting an NBA franchise so close to two, really three other franchises. Dallas is only 200 miles away, San Antonio’s 100 miles away, and Houston’s another 150-200 miles away, too. Combine that with Oklahoma City being just a few hundred miles north of Dallas, and one could see how it would be a bit of logjam. The main problem would be the Spurs. They’re incredibly close, and for some damn reason, 3/4 of this town seems to actually enjoy watching them win a title every other year. God, I hate the Spurs. Is there anything they don’t ruin?

4. I’d have to choose between being a Mavs fan or a Farmer’s fan.

So, dems my plan, like it or lump it. The pros and cons alike. Frankly, I think it should happen. If they held an election to decide whether to build a new arena here, I’d totally vote for it. Anything to get an NBA team here.

And anything to get them to stop talking about the damn Spurs.