The Sports Bizzo

(Editor’s note: The girl on the horse above is 18… I swear…)

By Jon…

Fandom is a strange word.

It’s also a strange concept with no written rules, which makes it incredibly hard to know how to feel about certain things. Some of your friends might agree with you. Others might completely disagree with you, and question your fanhood relentlessly until you can somehow justify your reasoning.

Case in Point:

The Mavs are rumored to be working on a sign-and-trade with the Raptors for Shawn Marion.

I found out via text from Toph. He was all Boners about it.

Me?

My first reaction was the complete opposite.

“Really?,” I thought to myself, “Shawn Marion on the Mavs? What are they gonna do about J-Ho? Would he fit in with the Mavs? How old is he?”

And then the biggest question came to me.

Could I actually root FOR Shawn Marion?

I hate Shawn Marion. For six years, I’ve been bitching about how he has the ugliest shot ever, and that he has a weird forehead, and he’s selfish. And, I mean, come on, he played for the Suns, and they beat us in the playoffs several times and now I’m supposed to LIKE him?

Seriously?

Maybe I should look at the positives. He’s a good rebounder, decent 3PT shooter, and he can get out and run, which is something I think Dallas has needed for awhile. He’s also a strong defensive stopper on the perimeter which takes some pressure off Howard to defend the opponent’s best perimeter player and score.

I just…I don’t know, man.

I guess it’s better than nothing. Earlier this week, I was screaming for a pony. Well, I got my pony. I just didn’t think it would a selfish, aging horse with an ugly shot, a weird forehead, and a freakishly tall Polish trainer named Gortat.

Wait, what’t that? Oh, Gortat’s here to play basketball. Great. Awesome. Lovin’ it.

“…Marcin Gortat….yeah we got ‘em…
…Shawn Marion….yeah we got ‘em…
…Lloyd Christmas…yeah we got ‘em…

…Oh…I am…Oh yes I am….
…Oh I am…
…I’m a Dallas Mavericks fan…”