The Sports Bizzo

Dear Cowboys Nation… and those of you just tagging along for the ride,

The Best Team In Football is now out of the playoffs. It was a good run, but the Cowboys came up short in Minnesota and are now in “we’ll get ‘em next year” mode.
Actually, we’re still waiting for the Cowboys to get off the bus and get suited up to play the Vikings, because they never showed up at the game. I kind of hate to say this, but if you recall the Cowboys Update from training camp dated July 30, 2009, I said in my predictions, “ We finish 11 – 5, win one playoff game, celebrate, then get annihilated the next game. At least we get to beat the Raiders on Thanksgiving this year.” Sorry about that. It’s kinda scary when I’m that right.

In multiple trips inside Vikings territory in the first half, the Cowboys came away with 3 points. That fueled the frustration for the Cowboys, and created the momentum for the Vikings, and the game was essentially over before halftime. Flozell Adams apparently retired two years ago but forgot to tell anyone. The offensive line (and I mean offensive ) gave up six sacks, leaving Tony Romo dazed and confused for so long it’s not true. Just like last year’s season-ending performance against the E-girls, losing 44-6 and getting knocked out of the playoff picture, this season-ending drubbing by the Vikings should fuel the fire in the bellies of Cowboys Nation to right the wrong committed in Minnesota Sunday afternoon with next year’s scheduled game against these same foes.
Jared Allen, Vikings DE, celebrated the victory over the Cowboys by going home and fucking his favorite sheep; the one he calls She-Ra Warrior Princess, because she’s so strong, and yet so beautiful. Brett Favre was giddy with excitement after the game; not because they won, but because his battery-operated Sphincto-Glide butt plug (by Ronco) finally allowed him to take the big dump at halftime that he’d been waiting for over a week to pass…kinda like a football. Brad Childress, Vikings head coach, found out (again) that even though his team is winning playoff games, the only thing he can get a woman to press against him is charges.

The Jets were the only road team to win this weekend, making San Diego the only team with a first round bye “one and done”. Having just watched the Cowboy game, I was in no mood to celebrate, but it was fun to watch that whiny-ass punk Phillip Rivers lose. He’s the type of guy you just want to punch in the face… much like our old friend Jim Rivers. I wonder if they’re related.

I hope the Jets can keep it up and beat Indy on Sunday. The last thing I think I could possibly stand to see is a Peyton Manning – Brett Favre Super Bowl. Oh what a field day the press would have showering these two guys with Hall-of-Fame adulation for two weeks. This week, Joe is Manning and Favre. Kill Joe! Go Jets! Go Saints!

Depending on the circumstances/ news/ NFL highlights and lowlights, the Updates will be sporadic and more monthly than weekly until training camp in July. But, as always, keep fuckin’ that chicken, and…

GO COWBOYS!!!
Tim