I’ve tried writing this 4 times now, and I think I finally found an angle that hasn’t been beaten over the head (wait, it was just beaten over the head).

First, I wanted to talk about why I didn’t think the Mavs would win the Finals (who knew they wouldn’t even get out of the first round?!) – as seen HERE.

5. No set lineup – Well, as we’ve seen in Round 1, this remains true. Despite what happened with George Hill in Game 1, he was still their starter. On our side of things, Marion isn’t finishing games, Butler is being benched for entire halves and the rotation is a complete mess. You can’t win that way.

4. Jump shooting team – Yup, this has continued. I believe, and I’m going from memory here, that the Mavs had 4 shot clock violations in game 4. Does this happen if you’re driving to the hoop? We saw Dirk with 4 – 10, Butler 7 – 18 and Kidd 3 – 10 in Game 4. You cannot win on on midrange jumper after midrange jumper.

3. The Dreaded 3 Guard Set – Yep, JJ, Kidd and Terry. Otherwise known as the D-less 3. We didn’t even get a Roddy B sighting. Wow.

2. Hollinger is right. He was right! NUMBERS DON’T LIE, PEOPLE!!

1. The Dreaded Gauntlet. Well, the only one I was excited about was the Spurs. Boy, I was wrong.

Another year, another first round exit. We’ve moved back since last year, and it’s depressing. Do I think we can win the next 3? No. I think it’s over as soon as the Mavs return home. But, I’ll wait to start talking about next year till then.

As of right now, I’m too miserable.

I will say, though, I was texting throughout the game with a couple of friends, and before San Antonio had got to within 10, we all knew. I’ll share the messages between Kyle and I (Kyle, who had THIS to say about the game):

Me: Falling apart
And it’s broken
Kyle: Do we even want to win and deal with 2 more of these?
Me: Definitely
Kyle: I’ve never seen a team go on so many scoreless runs.
Me: It’s fucking crazy
Kyle: Well… Dez Bryant.

And that, my friends, sums up exactly what we all needed. Dez Bryant. See you soon, big guy.

I’ve mentioned more than a few times that this has been one of my favorite regular seasons as an NBA fan. I’ve seen my favorite team on TV more this year than any in the past. I’ve recognized their problems with every one else, I’ve seen the decline of the team and the uprising of a contender in one season.

Yet, I allowed myself to fall into the Mavs trap, like I also do. I sort of wish the trade with the Wizards that brought us Butler and Haywood had never happened. Well, not this year. Here’s my 5 reasons why we should just accept that this isn’t the year for the Mavs.

5. We’re about a week away from the playoffs and they still don’t have a set lineup. This was an issue we had with Avery when we lost to the Warriors in the 1st round. It makes no sense that we don’t have a set starting center. Will it be Damp, will it be Haywood, and how many minutes is Najera really going to get?

4. Mavs quickly become a jump shooting team, which is terrifying. In their last two loses to Orlando and OKC – Caron shot 3 – 15, Terry shot 8 – 26 and Dirk 19 – 41. Aren’t these supposed to be our top 3 scorers?

3. The 3 guard set. As much as I like seeing Kidd, JET (or Barea) and Roddy B on the court at the same time, they’re not stopping anyone.

2. Hollinger is actually right, when they win it’s close, when they lose it’s a blowout. They’ve been losing so ugly this year that it’s hard for me to buy into them turning it up a notch in the playoffs. As much as I’d like to believe they can pull a San Antonio, this team just doesn’t know each other well enough yet.

1. If things ended today the Mavs would get San Antonio in the playoffs. OK, I like that. What I don’t like is the possibility of playing Phoenix, Denver, Utah or Oklahoma City. Or playing one of them in the first round, and the second, then the Lakers, then the Cavs. Do you really see them winning 16 games against these teams? Really?

Yeah… me either. And that pisses me off.

Wow… the day that was yesterday. Sure, thousands of people have covered it, but I couldn’t not write about it, could I?

MLB Opening Day, NCAA Championship, McNabb to the Skins, Tiger still talking and, well, what else could you possibly want?

Let’s see if I can’t play a little game of just the tip…

MLB Opening Day… What more could you ask for, really? Albert POO-holes (which would be the name of my fantasy baseball team) hits 2 homeruns, Rangers come back in the 9th with a walk off, Lincecum was amazing, Jason Heyward lived up to expectations with a homerun on his first at bat and Obama pulled out a White Sox hat to throw out the first pitch at the Phillies – Nationals game. All in all, you gotta be pretty excited about this baseball season.

McNabb to the Redskins… Is anyone else excited about this (assuming you also hate the Redskins and Eagles)? I think it’s a terrible decision for everyone. Let’s have a look. There’s no way that Kolb lives up to McNabb, it’s just not going to happen unless he wins the Super Bowl, plus he’ll be on such a tight leash with the tard Eagle fans. On the Skins side of things, it’s a complete shitshow. Aging quarterback, with no offensive line, handing off to aging running backs. Genius. A slow McNabb handing off to a slower Fast Willie Parker. Can football start next week, please?

I really don’t care to talk about Tiger.

And, last, and best, the NCAA Championship game. Sure, Duke won, and that sucks, but so much more happened. The final push by Butler at the end was so good, that I actually believed that shot was going to go in. As a sports pessimist, that just doesn’t happen for me. I always believe the shot will miss, the team I’m rooting for will lose and my heart will be broken. So, it was nice to actually think that shot had a chance to go in.

Of course, it didn’t go in, and my sports pessimism is still in tact.

By the way, we can do something to kill the one shining moment crap. I hate it every year.

And last-last but not least-least at all… WELCOME BACK JEETS!!!

(Editor’s Note: I was saving this for when Syracuse won, but whatever…)

The Sports Bizzo Podcast 03.28.10

This week Toph and Jon discuss their March Madness brackets (not good), Ron Washington’s sweet cocaine habit, the Mavs and NASCAR (kind of).

The only link you should need this week is to Dock Ellis’ LSD No Hitter – Link

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Suck it, Kansas. Has there been a bigger bust? You couldn’t get out of the second round? Really?

I’m currently in 32nd, out of almost 500, but without Kansas I don’t stand a chance.

NATIONAL CHAMPION – Kansas

FINALS
Kansas over West Virginia

West Virginia over Duke

ELITE 8
Kansas St over Vanderbilt
Kansas over Ohio St
West Virginia over Wisconsin
Duke over Baylor

SWEET 16
Vanderbilt over Syracuse
Kansas St over Xavier
Ohio St over Tennessee
Kansas over Michigan St
Wisconsin over Kentucky
West Virginia over Marquette
Baylor over Villanova

Duke over Texas A&M

ROUND OF 32

Tennessee over Georgetown
Ohio St over Oklahoma St
Michigan St over Maryland
Kentucky over Texas

West Virginia over Missouri

Tennessee over San Diego St

Texas over Wake Forest

Missouri over Clemson

By Toph…

So, if you’ve ever read any sports related article I’ve written (which, I hope you have, since this is The Sports Bizzo), you know that I might just be the strangest sports fan in the world. When things are going great, I panic and think the end is near. When things are at their bleakest, I get excited and think things are going to turn around.

When I see the Mavs down 10 on the road heading into the 4th quarter against the Warriors, I look at Diabla and say, “Honey… they got this!” And, they did.

When I see the Mavs down 16 at home to the Nets in the 1st half, I look at Diabla and say, “Honey… they got this!” And they did.

But, when I see them beating the Lakers, I panic. When I see them beating the Magic, I panic. When I see them beating the Hawks, I panic. And, when I see the Mavs sitting on their 13th straight victory, I take it as an omen that shits about to come crumbling down.

Take a walk with me, will you? I don’t usually point my faithful readers (hello you two) away from the Biz, but today is different. Let’s look at what some of our friends are saying about us. Tim Legler says this is the best shot the Mavs have to win a championship (link). Matt Moore calls the Mavs, “The pizza of the NBA (link).” Hell, even Charles Barkley wants to root for the Mavs. Please, don’t Chuck, it’s not as funny (link).

What does this all mean? DOOM! FUCKING DOOM! Run for cover because the empire is coming down. (Until, of course, it does come down, then all will be right with the world.)

The truth is, if you look at the remaining schedule (and every other Mavs blogger has addressed this), it looks relatively easy. The only games I wouldn’t be too upset with them losing is against Denver and the end. Seriously, have a look (link). Really, I don’t even think they should lose to Denver, since it’s at home after an off night. They’ve proven they can beat the Magic, Grizzles and Blazers. The Zombies give them trouble, but again, it’s at home after an off night (which is following the at home against the Magic).

Sure, they won’t go 16 – 0 to finish the year, but there’s no reason they can’t go 14 – 2.

And this absolutely terrifies me. Why? Because this kind of season leads to a first round playoff exit. Why? Because this kind of season leads to a dumb ass Dallas mayor planning the Finals victory parade, only to see them completely unravel. Why? Because we’re just not allowed to be happy!

So, don’t get too excited, Mavs fans. Afterall, Hollinger ranks the Mavs the #15 team in the league (link). While most Mavs fans are pissed at this, I’m saying, “Thank you.”

Final note: This was seriously the best year ever to buy NBA League Pass.

By Jon (yep… you read that right)…

John Hollinger doesn’t get it.

I read ESPN religiously, and I continually hate myself for doing so. ESPN may very well be the reason behind the rise and fall of sports media. I know Ben Stiller was gunning for a laugh when he came up with “The Ocho” in Dodgeball, but he wasn’t too far off the mark.

I name drop John Hollinger for a reason. He’s one of the increasing number of hacks that populate the ESPN universe. Guys who were given a column because they had some “new and interesting” way of looking at sports.

He’s a stat guy.

I have friends who are Actuaries and Statisticians. There’s no doubt in my mind that statistics are an incredibly useful tool. It’s great for sports, too. Just not the way he uses them. Hollinger is part of a new wave of statisticians who’ve decided to come up with new ways of looking at sports through new statistical formulas.

Good for you.

Progress isn’t made by things just happening. There’s lots of hard work involved. Lots of trial and error.

But sometimes, man, your shit just don’t make sense.

Your formulas are in the trial stage at best. And yet, you keep writing these articles as if your formulas are gospel. It’s good to trust in your hard work, but you’re forgetting the most important thing about sports. The thing you can’t quantify. The thing you can’t bottle. The thing that makes sports really fantastic to watch.

Momentum.

It changes games. It changes seasons. It changes everything.

This little soapbox I’m writing comes on the heels of Hollinger’s most recent gem about the Mavs’ status as a contender or pretender.

Through the shrewd use of his “formulas”, Hollinger takes a big ol’ steamin’ dump on the Mavs’ eight game winning streak.

He employs the logic that the Mavs’ have been as lucky as they have good. Fair enough. Part of being good is being lucky. But then he cites statistics about how the Mavs’ have a 15-5 record in games decided by five points or fewer.

What bothers me about this, is that next week, he’s just as likely to use a similar statistic with a different team to point out how they aren’t contenders because they don’t know how to close out games.

That’s what makes a contender. Winning the close ones. The ones where the team isn’t firing on all cylinders, but still wins.

A rebuttal, Hollinger: Occam’s Razor. The simplest explanation tends to be the best one.

You’re over thinking the goddamned thing.

The Mavs are energized from the trade. They’ve got some new pieces. They can do something’s they couldn’t before. They got rid of some festering parts that were eating away at the team.

Simply, they’ve got momentum on their side. They hosted an incredibly successful All-Star weekend. One they didn’t have to travel for. They’re rested. They’re energized. Rejuvenated. All of these are reasons that should be looked at WAY before you start looking at plus/minus differentials, true shooting percentage, or whatever new numbers you’re tossing around.

Here, an anecdote:

I’ve spent the last six years watching LOST. It’s finally drawing to a close. When I first started watching, I was obsessed with what the numbers meant. They had to have some major meaning, surely they weren’t just picked arbitrarily by the writers. As they show progressed, I realized just that. There wasn’t some big secret behind the numbers.

They were just numbers. I kept watching the show because of the story, because of the people involved.

I’m not saying you should give up your job as a statistician. You’re doing some good work out there.

But, sometimes, just for a second, you should turn that part of your brain off, and just watch the damn games.

Write an article about that. About your gut reaction. About how momentum swung the game. Write about how the game made you feel. Watch it for the stories, for the people involved. And if the numbers end up meaning something in the end.

Bonus.

And if not, oh well, at least you can let us all know for two seconds, that you weren’t just some robot who spit out statistics.

The Sports Bizzo Podcast 02.28.10

You’re going to need a lot links to keep up with this podcast…

You’re gonna need to know about Aziz Ansari

Especially, the CVS clip

You should definitely watch Huey Lewis’ videos – HERE

As well as the Wreckx-N-Effect “Rumpshaker” video…

And… the greatest video in the world… There’s a comment that says, “now is the time to fuk her”… we cannot stop laughing at this… So, here’s the genius video “Open to any college” video.

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Download The Bizzo podcast on iTunes – HERE (Write a review!)

Email The Bizzo at TheSportsBizzo@gmail.com

The Bizzo on Twitter – http://twitter.com/TheSportsBizzo

The Bizzo on Facebook - just click here

The Bizzo on Myspace – http://myspace.com/TheSportsBizzo

First of all, friends, I am sorry I’ve neglected you. Truth is, well, I’ve been busy, and I don’t have anyone else picking up my slack right now. Anyone know quality writers that would write for, um, glory (and absolutely no pay)?

Surprisingly, I’d say that I’ve arguably watched more sports this year, than most year’s past. This, of course, is thanks to NBA League Pass. The thing about having the Mavs on regularly in Dallas is that you do take it for granted. Oftentimes, I’d watch casually while doing other things (makin’ sex, smoking, etc…). You do that, you know, it’s true. Now? Well, I’m paying like $100 to watch games, so if I’m not home to watch, then I record them. I watched the Mavs – Suns game 5 days after the fact. That’s how dedicated I am this year.

It’s been so long since I’ve written that we haven’t even discussed “The Trade.” I could not have been happier with it. And, really, the people we should be thanking is Sacramento. I didn’t really want the Kevin Martin deal to go through, because, honestly, I don’t like Kevin Martin. I didn’t think we were going to get enough back, and judging from the Rockets we made out with the better deal. Thanks for helping us out Maloof Brothers, I’ll continue to frequent the Palms. Getting Butler and his straws for JHo was great. But, adding Haywood and Stevenson to the deal was bonerific.

How good has Haywood been? Cuban said he wouldn’t do a deal unless it included Haywood, and he’s now looking like a genius. I’ve like Wood since he was a Tar Heel, now I fucking love him.

Alright, so, let’s look back on last night. Lakers – Mavs. Mavs win.
Mavs win? It’s rare that the Mavs beat the Lakers, especially with 2 starters out, it’s just not an easy task. Last night was glorious. And, look, I know that it actually means nothing in the grand scheme of things. If anything it did more damage than good, right? Now the Lakers know the Mavs are for real, and will be treated as such next time around. I’m OK with this, because the Lakers have yet to see the Mavs fully in uniform. On the other side, the Mavs have yet to see the Lakers at 100%, since Kobe is just coming off an injury and the chemistry may be a little off.

Sure, a lot has to happen for these two to meet in the playoffs, and I’d much rather see the Lakers lose in the first round against the Zombies (it really is a better name than the Thunder, thanks, Bill Simmons), but for now it was a tremendous game.

God, I love basketball.

Doug, I’d say you were a lucky SOB, but you didn’t actually get to meet Melissa Rycroft, so you’re not.

But… Merry Christmas from Toph, Jon, Christian and the rest of The Sports Bizzo contributors.