By Jon…

(See also… Jon Wants a National Title and Some Butterscotch… Be sure to be at the South Congress Bridge tonight if the Horns do win the National Championship. Jon’s gonna run down it naked…)

I told Toph about a week and a half ago that my New Year’s resolution was to rededicate myself to the Biz. Well, here we are a week into the New Year, and what have I done about it…

Nada.

So I’m going to do my job, live up to my word, and drop some Bizzo on all of you…

Here:

I had a conversation with someone the other day, the same conversation I have with most everyone who’s just getting to know me.

“Wait, you like sports?”

To which I reply, “Absolutely, I have been since I was a kid.”

And it’s true.

Quick tangent:

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, I was at my Uncle Rey’s house in Bastrop. He’s a lifelong golfer who always lives right next to a golf course.  Anyway, we were sitting around talking about language. Uncle Rey made a point about how kids will invariably remember their primary language. If they learned it first, and learned it early, it will stick with them for the rest of their lives. It may start to atrophy if they don’t use, but they will always retain some connection to it.

He, of course, was speaking of their upbringing as Spanish speakers who learned English in school.

I, however, am using the quick tangent as a metaphor for my life as a sports fan.

When I was a kid, all of the kids in my neighborhood played sports. My dad played on his work softball team and we went to the game’s every week. And as a result, I spoke sports. My Uncle Lando used to call from San Francisco, and when I answered, he would tell me it was Tommy Lasorda or Tony LaRussa.

Most of my friends now, we’re all in to comic books at that age. And sure, I went to the comic book store as frequently as they did.

I never bought comic books, though. Just baseball cards. Lots and lots of baseball cards.

….

I guess looking at me now, it is a little surprising that I can rattle off an inordinate amount of sports trivia. It comes in handy. Especially during Trivial Pursuit games.

I guess the real point I’m getting at, is that people love different things for different reasons. And it doesn’t matter their reasons are. I love sports, because I’ve always loved sports. It was my primary hobby as a kid, and I’ll always retain some sort of connection to it.

Incidentally, Texas and Alabama are playing for the National Title tonight, and I’m effin’ pumped and it’s why I decided to write this article about my love for sports.

Because night’s like tonight are why being a sports fan is one of the greatest things in the world.

By Toph…

I have this weird obsession with watching the last 5 -2 minutes of just about every semi-important to important sporting event. This is based entirely of the fact that I love sports celebrations. There’s something about the midfield celebrations, ticker tap, fans screaming their asses off, awkward hugs, high fives, players flipping out and overall insane celebrations. How can you not love this?

Well, I do, and I’m not afraid to admit it. If Christian is Mr. Bandwagon, then I’m Mr. 2 Minute Bandwagon.

Seriously, I don’t know what it is about seeing a team clinch something, anything. I’d watch the Finland team clinch an Olympic berth in Curling. Actually, that would be great. Could you imagine how Jaakko and Jukka-Pekka would react when going hog to tee against the Canadians? Dear God, it would be fucking magical as the belly-slide on the ice. Ernie Richardson would turn over in his grave if he knew the Fins beat the Canadians. Rest in peace, Ernie.

There’s really only one reason to become a coach, which is obviously to have Gatorade dumped on you. In fact, sometimes after Dibs and I do it I give myself a Gatorade shower. This actually causes a much bigger mess than she likes to clean up, and cause marital problems.

Last night, after showing little interest in the Sooners – Gators National Championship game (because it should have been Utah – Texas), I was glued to the TV in those final minutes. I didn’t care who won, because frankly I can’t stand either of them, but man I was excited when they got the Gatorade ready.

Except, and I don’t know how this wasn’t addressed, but Florida got the Gatorade early way too early. I don’t know people have refused to recognize this, but they started showing shots of the waterboys filling the Gatorade bottle way too early. At this point, it wasn’t close to being sealed, yet there we were watching the giddy kids getting ready with the Gatorade. I’m not even going to mention how the actual dump sucked, besides to say that I’m going to mention it, even though I mentioned it by not mentioning it.

What I will ask is how I didn’t see the Gatorade commercial that talks about Gatorade being invented for the University of Florida. “We just called it Gatorade.” How can you not have that commercial in constant rotation. Did I just miss it? Did anyone else see it? Does anyone even read this?

I’ve rambled on so much, I don’t even know what I’m talking about anymore. Scroll up and look at the photo. I bet it’s sexy.

The Sports Bizzo Podcast 01.02.09

Toph and Jon actually sit down to discuss sports. In the first podcast of the new year, the Bizzers discuss their predictions for the NFL playoffs, the remaining bowl games, the Yankees, the Mavs and of course, the demise of the Cowboys.

Jon’s Wildcard Round Playoff Predictions (Winning teams in Bold)

Atlanta – Arizona

Indy – San Diego

Philly – Minnesota

Baltimore – Miami

Toph’s Wildcard Round Playoff Predictions

Atlanta – Arizona

Indy – San Diego

Philly – Minnesota

Baltimore – Miami

And as usual…

Download The Bizzo podcast on iTunes – HERE (Write a review!)

Email The Bizzo at TheSportsBizzo@gmail.com

The Bizzo on Twitter – http://twitter.com/TheSportsBizzo

The Bizzo on Facebook - just click here…

The Bizzo on Myspace – http://myspace.com/TheSportsBizzo

By Jon…

Weekly Grumblings, my ass. I’m sure that’s what y’all are thinking. Well, I’ve needed to build up some things to grumble about. So here we go, a marathon version of the grumblings….

1. If I see one more box score or headline that says Devin Harris has set another career high in points, I’m gonna kill someone. Harris scored 47 points the other day, FORTY SEVEN POINTS!!! That’s ridiculous. Why did the Mavs trade him again? Oh right, for that old man whose name suggests otherwise (Kidd). I sincerely hope Mark Cuban has big plans for all the cap money that comes when Kidd’s contract expires.

The Kidd trade was a total debacle. It wreaks of a bad relationship gone worse. You ever had a situation in your life where you dumped or got dumped by somebody and then you found someone newer, younger, and hotter, and then the old Harpy comes back and says that she wants you back, and since you never really got over her, and you don’t know where this new relationship is going, and things are comfortable with the old one, you get back with her? Only to watch the younger, hotter one hook up with some spare of a dude, but she bangs him FORTY SEVEN times more than you because he let go of the reigns and said go for it? Ever had that happen?

Me either, but it happened to the Mavs.

2. The BCS system is flawed. I know I’m going out on a limb when I say that. In fact, as far as I know, I may be the only one saying it. But the system is flawed. Furthermore, the Big 12 system is flawed even more. How hard is it to get your tiebreaker scenarios right? If three teams are tied, standard circle-jerk rules apply. Last one to finish is the biscuit. In this case, there were two biscuits. Texas Tech is the official biscuit, because they lost last. But Texas is the one eating the biscuit. A big, nasty BCS covered biscuit because they lost to Okla…no, wait a second, they didn’t lose to Oklahoma. They beat Oklahoma in Aust….er..Norm….wait, no Dallas. A neutral site, one might call it, where neither team has a distinct home field advantage because the crowd is divided equally amongst both teams.

Oklahoma is, for all intents and purposes, being rewarded for blowing their collective wad too early. Where else in life is that rewarded? NOWHERE! So why should it work in college football?

All I’m saying is, if Oklahoma somehow loses against Mizzou, you bet your biscuits, Texas should be in the BCS championship game, conference title be damned. Oklahoma shouldn’t get another free pass like they did a few years ago when they lost in the Big 12 title game, only to be gifted a slot in the national championship game, only to get completely annihilated by USC.

3. Plaxico Burress, your life has finally become as silly as your name. If you didn’t want to play because you felt like being a crybaby, you could’ve just faked the hamstring injury you were already out for. You didn’t have to go and put a goddamn bullethole in it. We believed you when you said your hammy was hurting, no need to get crazy. No need to drag your teammates into it.

Here’s what gets me, Plax…is it okay if I call you, Plax? If the reason for carrying the gun is to protect oneself, wouldn’t it behoove said gun carrier to take a lesson in gun safety, or hell some sort of gun training course?

I mean, surely, you’ve heard the statistics that you’re more likely to harm someone you know than a stranger. I don’t know if they send you a letter in the mail when you actually become part of that statistic, but you should be expecting yours later this week. Actually, you know, I bet they email it.  You’ll probably get an email.

I just don’t get it, dude. Why do you need a gun anyway? Does it give you a boner to think of the power you hold by carrying a gun? You caught the game-winning touchdown against an undefeated team in the Super Bowl, for Christ’s sake. How much bigger of a boner do you need?

4. Hands down the best thing to come of the Plaxico accidental shooting was this – Marcellus Wiley on OTL
Outside the Lines interview with former Bills defensive end Marcellus Wiley. In the span of a three minute interview, Wiley manages to incriminate himself on at least two different crimes. First, he mentions the kind of weapon he carried and the type of holster. Secondly, he admits to it being unregistered, and on top of that admits to disposing of it by throwing it out of his car window while driving down the highway. Priceless….

(Editor’s Note: Toph and Jon salute their alma mater’s dominance in table tennis. Go Texas Wesleyan Rams!)

The Sports Bizzo Podcast 12.04.08

Toph and Jon have probably the strangest podcast yet, as they welcome surprise guest, Bizzo site designer, Ray Hernandez. This week they discuss their fantasy football playoffs, Cowboys – Steelers, Plaxico, the Longhorns getting screwed and female condoms. Yes… female condoms.

Important Show Links -

Female Condom Photo

Female Condom Demo Video

And as usual…

Download The Bizzo podcast on iTunes – HERE (Write a review!)

Email The Bizzo at TheSportsBizzo@gmail.com

The Bizzo on Twitter – http://twitter.com/TheSportsBizzo

The Bizzo on Facebook - just click here…

The Bizzo on Myspace – http://myspace.com/TheSportsBizzo

The Sports Bizzo Podcast 11.24.08

Toph and Jon are back with a new podcast! This week they discuss the rise of the Cowboys, welcome back Pacman, fantasy football, the BCS and college football, the NBA and some other fun shit.

As usual…

Email The Bizzo at TheSportsBizzo@gmail.com

The Bizzo on Myspace – http://myspace.com/TheSportsBizzo

The Bizzo on Twitter – http://twitter.com/TheSportsBizzo

Download The Bizzo podcast on iTunes – HERE (Write a review!)