The Sports Bizzo

By Toph... I know I should either be talking about the Cowboys amazing victory over the Eagles or the Longhorns unbelievable letdown against the Tide (seriously, can't we all agree the Curse of Jon is real, and that because of this he's not allowed to even mention the Cowboys on this site?), and I will, but that's not why we're here today. No, we're here today because our beloved hero, Derek Jeter is about to make the biggest mistake of his life. I was reading ... Read More

By Jeets... Dearest Bizzoteers- I know I’ve been M-I-A for a while.  But let me explain.  It can be done in two words:  Mark Dickbag Teixeira. Okay, that’s three words, and they’re not really words, they’re names.  So what do I look like?  A grammarian?  A physicist? No.  I look like a sex god wrapped up in an irresistibly tight, pin-striped uniform that accentuates my delts. The truth is, Bizzolitos (that’s Spanish for “Little Jeets Disciples”), Tex is a pain in my well-toned, sought-after ass.  Who would ... Read More

The Sports Bizzo Podcast 2.08.09 This week Jon and Toph welcome special guest, hardcore steroid user, Ray Hernandez. They discuss steroids, A-Rod, Bonds, Jamal Anderson, the Mavs and the NBA Trade Deadline. This, by the by, is the last podcast for 2 weeks, as Toph will be on vacation. Yes... again... And as usual Download The Bizzo podcast on iTunes - HERE (Write a review!) Email The Bizzo at TheSportsBizzo@gmail.com The Bizzo on Twitter - http://twitter.com/TheSportsBizzo The Bizzo on Facebook - just click here The Bizzo on Myspace - http://myspace.com/TheSportsBizzo Read More

Aloha, my little bizzolitos. Que pasa? Your very own number two (but always number one in your hearts) has been out of commish for some time now, huh? That’s what Jeets does, though, ladies and lesser dudes. When he needs to get shit done, he gets into the zone. What zone, you ask? I like to call it the Bone Zone. Ladies call it the first place they’ve ever really experienced pleasure. Scientists would call it my bedroom. You see, bizzotes, I’ve actually been busy ... Read More

You know, boys and girls, everything else I write about, I'm an expert at.  Ladies, love-making, lap dances, lithographs, laminating, lambasting, alliteration...I rock it all. But if there's one thing that I'm not familiar with, it's having a lot of free time on my hands in October. I don't know if you Bizzoers can believe it, but this is the first October I've had free since 1994.  That means that I've never not been to the playoffs.  Can you believe that?  I'm usually busy ... Read More

The dictionary defines "clutch" as "being successful in a crucial situation." I define it by looking in the mirror. It would be silly for me to run down the endlessly long list of clutch performances in my life for the sake of this How-To Guide. After all, none of you will ever be as clutch as I am. Having you read the impossibly long list of clutchness would really do nothing more than make you feel awful about yourself. Face it. ... Read More

Bonjour, Ladies and Gents. In case you're not familiar, "Bonjour" is French for "Sappinin?!?!" What can I say? I'm a man of many languages...an international, debonair icon of multi-culturalism and success. Out of all the languages I speak, it goes without saying that my favorite is the language of love. I was born fluent in it, I've written most of the dictionary on it, and I'm pretty much a walking thesaurus of carnal sophistication. You'll all come to ... Read More