The Bizzo Staffers (who, like us, aren’t paid)
Brandon “Ramblin’ Gambler” Highwood
3. “You Got Him!” Last year I threw a big boxing party for Floyd Mayweather Jr vs Oscar De La Hoya. I had a chance to introduce my favorite sport to a few people that had never laid eyes on a boxer other than Iron Mike. The undercards, much to my chagrin, sucked. As I predicted, the main event was boring as hell. So what fight saved the party? DVR: De La Hoya vs Fernando Vargas 2002. Vargas was winning the early rounds and hurting Oscar, and after one of Vargas’ good rounds, his trainer says (in Spanish of course, I’m paraphrasing): You got him! You got him! He doesn’t want to fight anymore! You got him! Round 11- Oscar knocks Vargas down. Moments later Oscar backs Vargas into a corner and pummels him with left right left right left right, without even bothering to move his feet, as if facing a heavy bag. TKO. After that fight, trash-talking loser Vargas tested positive for steroids. The moral - just when you think someone is done, that they don’t want to fight anymore… maybe they’ve just begun.
2. “It’s all about the letdown” Maybe it’s because I got too spoiled on all those Dallas Cowboys super bowl wins in the 90’s, but just like any Dallas-bred gambler, I’ve always considered myself a fair-weather fan. But in 2006 I learned a valuable lesson about team sports and being a fan. I was at Doc’s on Congress in Austin, surrounded by screaming Mavs fans. We all wanted the equalizer in the Heat/Mavs Finals series – game six in Dallas. A no brainer right? Dallas will get right back in it, right? But by the end of the first half, I could feel that the Mavs were done; they were ready to call it in. So I left the bar. And the Mavs did lose that night, and I watched it without friends, in the comfort of my living room. I did it because I didn’t want to see all the disappointment. All the drunken sadness. After a few weeks of mourning, I realized that leaving the bar was a mistake, because in the end, being a fan is all about the letdown, and the solidarity with others that follows. And of course, there’s always next season, and that’s more than you can say about life sometimes.
1. I saw Manny Pacquiao knock out undefeated Jorge Solis at the Alamo Dome in 2007. He crushed yet another Mexican hope. I feared for the Filipinos in the crowd. Afterwards, my lady friend said she’d never seen so much blood, and that she liked boxing. Enough said.
Christian Camerota
3. Sid Bream, the slowest and weirdest looking man on earth, scores on Francisco Cabrera’s single, sending the Braves past the hated Pirates and into the 1992 Series. I got Francisco’s autograph in spring training the following year and assumed that in a few more years, it’d be worth millions. Unfortunately for me and for him, Francisco faded into obscurity and also ruined what, otherwise, was a really nice hat.
2. Nolan Ryan’s 7th No-Hitter on May 9th, 1991. I remember watching it after having just flown back to the US from Germany where, as you’re probably aware, baseball is as weird to them as snuff films featuring Hitler impersonators are to us here. Nolan Ryan was, is, and will forever be my favorite baseball player…and I had the good sense, at age 9, to name my cat after him. Coolest cat ever.
1. Braves win the 2008 World Series, narrowly edging out the Mets for the division title. In the final game of the season, David Wright charges the mound against closer John Smoltz and Smoltz promptly puts Wright in a headlock and piledrives him into the mound, killing him. When asked about it, Smoltz responds “Well, Nolan Ryan did it and he was Christian’s favorite pitcher…so, since I’m number 2 on that list, I had to live up to the reputation.” Instead of getting suspended, Smoltz is given an award for bettering baseball and saving us from hearing how David Wright is the rich man’s Chipper Jones for years to come. The Braves go on to beat the Cardinals in the NLCS on a Brian McCann go-ahead homer in the 9th against Adam Wainwright, a large piece in the deal we traded away to get J.D. Frickin Drew, providing justice and closure for Braves fans everywhere. Finally, the Braves go on to defeat the Red Sox in the World Series in four games when that same J.D. Drew goes 0 for 81 with 81 strikeouts and when the final out is recorded, does the same thing he did for an entire year in Atlanta…shows no expression whatsoever, collects his paycheck, and goes on his merry little way.
Hey, no one said my favorite sports moment of all time couldn’t be in the future, did they?
And if you can’t tell, I’m intensely loyal to the Braves, I live in SF, my favorite sport is baseball, I’m a total bandwagon guy in every other sport (how bout them Lakers this year, huh?), and I hate my job and wish my permanent occupation was working exclusively for the Bizzo. Fortunately for you all and for me, when the Bizzo takes over ESPN in a few months, all our dreams will come true.
